Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
