I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
