Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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