Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
