And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
