I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
