I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
