Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
