im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
