So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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