The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
