I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to calm my uterus...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
