We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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