So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How's work?
Spinning.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
