I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
