Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if only i could text you this smell
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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