Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
