Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
