he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
