she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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