we have officially lost it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
