I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
