shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
