whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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