My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
