Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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