They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is the high leading the old right now
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
