i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
