And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
