i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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