did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
