And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
