you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
