I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
