so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
