Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
