How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
