Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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