More tranny stories later!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
