dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
