I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
