She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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