Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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