At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
