whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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