What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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