so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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