i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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