i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
