Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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