2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
