I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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