You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
