What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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